Permission to Switch Off
As we edge towards the summer holidays, many of us are counting down the days until we can finally switch off. But if you're feeling exhausted before you've even packed your suitcase, you are not alone.
Overwhelming workloads, constant notifications, back-to-back meetings, imposter syndrome or just trying to manage the constant juggle of work and family life, are all common themes we’ve been helping clients to cope better with this week.
On their own, these pressures can feel manageable, but when they become the norm rather than the exception, they gradually take their toll.
Burnout rarely happens overnight. It's usually the result of weeks, months or even years spent operating in survival mode, where our brains are constantly on high alert, and we never quite give ourselves the chance to recover.
The good news is, our brains are incredibly adaptable.
With the right approach, you can actually interrupt unhelpful thought patterns, which helps to build resilience, so we can start focusing on what moves us forward rather than what keeps us stuck.
How does this work in session?
Instead of spending a lot of time analysing the past, we help clients to recognise that while their experiences shape them, they don't have to define their future.
Instead of asking, "Why am I like this?" we ask a much more useful question:
"What would life look like if things were better?"
It sounds so simple, but it's surprisingly powerful.
When we're stressed or overwhelmed, the primitive part of our brain - the area responsible for keeping us safe - becomes dominant. It's constantly on red alert, scanning for problems, predicting worst-case scenarios and keeping us focused on everything that's going wrong. This was incredibly useful when our ancestors needed to avoid predators, but it's less helpful when the "threat" is an overflowing inbox or a tricky client meeting.
In our practice, we help to calm this primitive response so that the prefrontal cortex - our intellectual brain - can take the lead again. This is the part responsible for rational thinking, creativity, problem-solving and perspective.
When we access this part of the brain more consistently, we naturally begin making better decisions and noticing opportunities rather than obstacles.
The Miracle Question
One of the best-known techniques we use is something called The Miracle Question, developed during the 1980s by psychotherapists Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg, founders of Solution Focused Brief Therapy.
The question goes something like this:
"Suppose tonight, while you're asleep, a miracle happens and the problem that brought you here has disappeared. When you wake up tomorrow, what would be the very first small sign that tells you life is different?"
This isn’t a fairy godmother scenario where some incredible, unrealistic transformation takes place overnight, it’s about helping people to imagine what would be different - because our brains find it much easier to move towards something concrete than away from something vague.
Instead of thinking: "I don't want to feel stressed anymore."
You begin thinking: "I'd wake up feeling rested. The school run would be calmer. I'd feel prepared walking into work. I'd speak up more confidently in meetings. I'd finish that project I’ve been putting off. I’d be able to leave on time and meet a friend.”
Suddenly, your brain has something positive to aim for.
Getting Started
You don't need a therapy session to borrow a little Solution Focused thinking. The next time work feels overwhelming, take a moment to pause and ask yourself:
If tomorrow was a better day at work, what would be the first thing I'd notice?
What would I be doing differently?
What would other people notice about me?
What's one small thing I could do today that moves me 1% closer to that picture?
How would that make me feel?
What else would that change?
The emphasis is always on small changes. You don't have to transform your life overnight.
Sometimes leaving your desk for lunch, saying no to one unnecessary meeting or taking a ten-minute walk before opening your emails is enough to start changing your perspective.
Small changes create momentum.
Give yourself permission to switch off
Your brain wasn't designed to operate at full capacity every hour of every day. It needs periods of recovery to consolidate learning, regulate emotions and restore perspective.
If you're taking annual leave, REALLY TAKE IT!
Mute the notifications
Close the laptop
Go for the walk
Read the book
Spend time with people who make you laugh
The work will still be there when you get back. But you'll return with a calmer mind, an empty stress bucket and a brain that's ready to solve problems rather than survive them.
